➹ [Reading] ➻ Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids By Kim John Payne ➮ – Transportjobsite.co.uk


10 thoughts on “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

  1. says:

    I have mixed feelings about this one I think overall it deserves the four star rating because it makes many very important points and has a lot of helpful ideas for parents who want to protect their kids childhood It is well written and not at all dry or a difficult read On the other hand, I m not sure how to articulate thisI felt smothered by the authors, by the growing list of shalls and shalt nots, by the overwhelming number of things that I ought to be changing and not doing any and throwing away and simplifying That s a bit ironic, to say the least While in general I think that the ideas are good, and in fact many I have already implemented some before reading the book , the tone just comes on so strong, it incites a bit of a panicked feeling The imagery a child crushed under the pile of toys, for instance is vivid but perhaps a bit much I ended up just feeling guilty and inadequate on new and different levels This is why I almost never read how to parenting books.I have always felt a bit stifled by the Waldorf philosophy when it comes to emotional stuff It seems like in addition to doing, I don t know, EVERYTHING for them, and having the nature tableau set up, and making sure there s time to dawdle about in the mud and finger paint, I should modulate my personality and emotional life to the hazy pastels of a wet on wet Stockmar watercolor painting I am not a faceless organic wool dolly I am a messed up human being, with feelings and reactions and biases As much as this book claims to be about taking pressure off both kids and moms come on, it s not PARENTS, it s MOMS let s be real here it seems like just shuffling it around sometimes.


  2. says:

    Best parenting book I ve read And really than a parenting book, this a book about how to live life well in modern times The author is a family counselor and over his career of helping many families, has developed a particular theory and philosophy about what is challenging so many families To simplify which is the theme of the book , we ve become too busy, and that busyness is particularly bad for children You ve heard about how a frog dropped into a pot of boiling water will struggle to get out Nothing surprising there, but it turns out that if you put a frog in a pot of cold water, and slowly heat it to the boiling point, the frog will remain still, without any signs of struggle Based on the families I ve been privileged to work with, the hundreds of parents who ve shared with me their concerns, and my own experience as a parent, I believe that the pot we re in today as families is increasingly inhospitable for us all but especially for our children The boiling pot is of course our busy lives, full of activities, work, media, screens, and We live in an era where humans have never been so constantly switched on and busy The solution to create space in your life, and time This leads to a deeper connection between your kids and your spouse The book is worth reading, but here are some of the basic takeaways 1 Create space in your life This means physical and mental clutter, and TIME Speaking of time, you have to put in the time If either parent spends than 10 hours per day at work, their children will suffer this is not a surprise, and is in line with my intentions, but I have exceeded it Let your kids be bored Let them be Sometimes in my lectures I write up a prescription for parents Boredom To be allowed three times a day, preferably before meals 2 When a child or an adult is having a tough time a soul fever just like a real fever, give them a few days off and they will heal This can mean taking a sick day, something I never do and am going to think seriously about.3 Meditate So many books and teachers talk about the benefits of this Or do the modern alternatives, such as sports, music or deep play anything that really lets you focus without distraction.4 Simplify toys The average kid receives 70 toys per year, and most of them are not played with frequently Many end up missing parts, or broken Simplify down to 5 toys out at a time, and toss half and keep the other half in bins in storage Keep the toys that inspire imagination simple toys like blocks of wood, basic wooden boats complex toys like a princess castle with all the trimmings leave little to the imagination Avoid toys based on popular movie or tv characters for that reason too We explained that some of their toys were in storage and might come out again But really, we hardly finished saying that when they started playing They each found something they hadn t seen for a long time and started playing 5 Simplify books This one was hard for me, but it does make sense to leave out 5 books the child will read a lot, and even make sure their shelf is full of good books, not just any books 6 Create rhythm in the daily and weekly family life Establish this with regular family dinners, family meetings, and other customs Sundays as family days Reading time as a family.7 Avoid screen time, ideally eliminating it or if not severely limiting it It s not cognitively good for us 8 Reduce exposure to media for kids Our media has become increasingly fear based which I think is a huge problem that needs solving , and kids just simply don t need exposure to it 9 Create mechanisms to ensure both parents are involved in the childrens lives This creates balance for the kids, and for the parents Do this by balancing regular responsibilities between the parents In a nutshell Simplifying a child s daily life is one of the best ways to restore a sense of balance in parenting By simplifying their toys and environment, their schedules, and the sense of rhythm and regularity in the home, you allow them the grace to be a child.


  3. says:

    This is probably among my top ten favorite parenting books, which isnt TOO shabby It s obviously all about simplifying parenting and your kids lives I have to admit that I may have gone into this with the dirty motive of confirming my current beliefs regarding parenting and childhood because, let s be honest, isn t that why most of us read parenting books The first several chapters did in fact just reaffirm my beliefs and validate our current lifestyle we literally have none of the kinds of toys he recommends disposing of and we have all the good ones, we have a very simple and relaxed schedule for our kids that includes predictable routines But then I got to the section on rhythms, and while I was self righteously expecting validation just being honest here , I realized that our family lacks some rhythms that could really strengthen individuals as well as the entire unit Same thing with the chapter about filtering adult content I m incredibly strict about the media my kids consume, but I never thought to filter the conversation topics that my husband and I engage in with our children present we love politics and current events This book is oozing with Waldorf educational philosophy, which was okay with me because it s only oozing the parts of Waldorf that I love Just know that this guy is highly influenced by Rudolph Steiner All in all, it gave me a lot to think about, and that s what I really enjoy when it comes to parenting books well, that and the validation, of course.


  4. says:

    I am feeling extremely ambivalent about this book On the one hand, I agree with most of his thesis I think we all could do with simplifying I think clutter, mental and physical, is distracting, and I can imagine it would be even so for children, since they are going through so much growth and development That being said, I think the author makes simplifying seem superficial Like, if you clean up your house, turn off the TV, and do things in a lovely rhythm, your life will just magically improve I see it as choosing to make changes on the inside, in your relationships, and so forth, that then are reflected in a desire to declutter I also have somewhat of a problem with the idea that for our children s childhood, we would have to change our lives so much, in the fear ugh that if things aren t simple enough at home, kids will become ADHD, overstimulated, asocial robots For example, sometimes my husband and I like to cook elaborate meals It is a hobby Sometimes we like to have dinner later, sometimes earlier In their thesis, I feel like this would be a big no no I see it as a way to model for our kids what it looks like to have a healthy hobby that is practical and fun We love to watch cooking shows as well Well, that is TV We could find a lot of cooking shows, food programs, and travel programs to watch that would fill up some hours of TV a week, but I think are a fun, social way to spent time as a family I feel the same way about movies It seems like Payne observed how beneficial it could be to simplify, and then started to see EVERYTHING through this lens And sometimes it is just a bit much, ironically By the end I was kind of sick of the idea of simplifying However, the book was still good in that, I still want to keep the flow of crap out of our house I want to keep the tide of plastic and brand name toys out, too I want to make sure video games and TV are not the focal point of the house These are all goals I had before I read this book, but now I have another reason for why that might be a good philosophy to have.


  5. says:

    November 10, 2014Just finished this for the second time and I loved it just as much as the first time I bought my own copy this time so I could highlight, which I did like crazy Will read again September 8, 2012Outstanding This book covers four areas for simplifying home and family.1 Environment The average American child receives 70 toys a year Kids don t need many toys to play, or any particular one What they need most of all is unstructured time 2 Rhythm A ten year study found that the less often a family eats together, the likely the television will be on during dinner, the less healthy the food, and, as rated by participants, the meager the talk and less satisfying, overall, the experience is likely to be The author also talks in detail about the importance of a regular bedtime, bedtime rituals, reading, and eating real food 3 Schedules The over scheduled child is like soil that has been constantly and exclusively cropped Without rest and replenishment, without the deep roots of legumes to aerate and pull nutrients down into the soil, it becomes compacted, a dust bowl The ordinary allows for the exceptional, but not the reverse Given ordinary opportunities and encouragement, a truly exceptional talent with surface But interests, even strong interests and abilities often burn out when they re pushed too hard, too fast, too young 4 Filtering out the adult world Television viewing hurts the development of children under three years old and poses a certain number of risks, encouraging passivity, slow language acquisition, over excitedness, troubles with sleep and concentration, as well as dependence on screens Multiple studies have now concluded that watching television, even such educational programming as Sesame Street, actually delays rather than promotes language development As distractions fall away, a sense of ease stakes hold and expands There s time for connection, room for contemplation and play Boredom, once feared and banished from the home, will be allowed in again, appreciated for how often it precedes inspiration Contrary to what you might think, regularity is liberating than boring to most children Rituals that can be counted on throughout the day and week act as powerful affirmations.


  6. says:

    Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne supplements each recommendation with volumes of research, making it a great choice for the data driven reader Some of the advice I had heard before, but it was great to understand the underpinnings behind these proclamations Personally, Payne s advice about over scheduling was a great reminder to cut back with my children He says things such as, The messiness of free play, with its many changes and possibilities builds an inner flexibility He notes that there is such thing as many books Sacrilege But also spurred me to take a look at the overflowing bookshelves in our home And it s true, I ve noticed that our children perhaps don t value their books as much as they would if I were better at presenting new ones when they ve devoured the old completely We have reduced the number of children s books in our home and I think it s an improvement But the most surprising and revelatory item in the book was his advice to not talk too much to kids nine or younger about their feelings He says Children under nine certainly have feelings, but much of the time those feelings are unconscious, undifferentiated In any kind of conflict or upset, if asked how they feel, most kids will say, very honestly, Bad They feel bad To dissect and parse that, to push and push, imagining that they are hiding a much subtle and nuanced feeling or reply, is invasive Lots of great stuff in this book and plenty of ideas for parents to debate


  7. says:

    I like Simplicity Parenting because it gives me a justification for my bohemian cheapskate impulses When my grown children tell me they need therapy because I denied them television and crappy plastic toys, I ll be able to place the blame squarely on Kim John Payne.Four stars may have been a bit too heavy praise Simplicity Parenting isn t well written and could have used a lot of pruning But I like the concepts, and he makes some really difficult choices seem easy and incremental.


  8. says:

    Can hardly believe I made it through the whole thing One of the key messages, and it s a good one, is that we can communicate better by saying less, but he takes a bazillion words to say that, explain it, and reiterate it ad nauseum The irony is overwhelming.We also don t need a hundred pages on why our kids have too many toys, and how to select which to get rid of It s just not that hard, dude Seriously, this book has a lot of great messages But it could literally have been a PAMPHLET and it would have been just as useful.


  9. says:

    OK, I would put this in one of my top parenting books It can be applied to any age kids It covers a lot of different areas of parenting I have followed a few of his suggestions and made changes in our family over the last few months I have seen some positive results I love it so much I may start making it my gift to my doula clients I wish I had read it when Thing 1 was a baby One of my other favorite parenting books is also Parenting Well in a Media Age But most people won t take the time to read this I am happy to see him address this topic in a chapter of the book So you could skip this one if you read Simplicity Parenting.


  10. says:

    Admittedly I didn t read every word or chapter in this book The basic premise being that kids are experiencing stress in small doses often enough that they behave similarly to kids that suffer from one big stress and have post traumatic stress disorder And so we simplify I guess I was already sold on the simplify idea and mostly just read looking for a few ideas We implemented the half the toys, then half them again to eliminate superfluous toys, while putting a few imaginative, creative toys easily accessible P paints every day nowwhich isn t a problem, we just had to gear up to deal with the mess often I do admit that P noticed nothing missing, and did pull out a few of the toys she hadn t touched in ages, so we must have done something right But the big question iswhat do you do for gift giving periods when you are trying to not add stuff Some of the other chapters just weren t applicable yet, though some day they might be Neither of our kids are old enough to be enrolled in tons of activities, so they have ample free play time We are making an effort to keep the laptops out of the play area since that was impacting play negatively.


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Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids summary pdf Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids, summary chapter 2 Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids, sparknotes Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids 98a540f Today S Busier, Faster, Supersized Society Is Waging An Undeclared War On Childhood As The Pace Of Life Accelerates To Hyperspeed With Too Much Stuff, Too Many Choices, And Too Little Time Children Feel The Pressure They Can Become Anxious, Have Trouble With Friends And School, Or Even Be Diagnosed With Behavioral Problems Now, In Defense Of The Extraordinary Power Of Less, Internationally Renowned Family Consultant Kim John Payne Helps Parents Reclaim For Their Children The Space And Freedom That Allkids Need, Allowing Their Children S Attention To Focus And Their Individuality To FlourishBased On Payne S Twenty Year S Experience Successfully Counseling Busy Families, Simplicity Parenting Teaches Parents How To Worry And Hover Less And How To Enjoy For Those Who Want To Slow Their Children S Lives Down But Don T Know Where To Start, Payne Offers Both Inspiration And A Blueprint For Change Streamline Your Home Environment The Average Child Has ThanToys Here Are Tips For Reducing The Amount Of Toys, Books, And Clutter As Well As The Lights, Sounds, And General Sensory Overload That Crowd The Space Young Imaginations Need In Order To Grow Establish Rhythms And Rituals Predictability Routines And Transparency Knowing The Day S Plan Are Soothing Pressure Valves For Children Here Are Ways To Ease Daily Tensions, Create Battle Free Mealtimes And Bedtimes, And Tell If Your Child Is Overwhelmed Schedule A Break In The Schedule Too Many Activities May Limit Children S Ability To Motivate And Direct Themselves Learn How To Establish Intervals Of Calm In Your Child S Daily Torrent Of Constant Doing And Familiarize Yourself With The Pros And Cons Of Organized Sports And Other Enrichment Activities Scale Back On Media And Parental Involvement Back Out Of Hyperparenting By Managing Your Children S Screen Time To Limit The Endless And Sometimes Scary Deluge Of Information And Stimulation Parental Hovering Is Really About Anxiety By Doing Less And Trusting , Parents Can Create A Sanctuary That Nurtures Children S Identity, Well Being, And Resiliency As They Grow Slowly Into Themselves A Manifesto For Protecting The Grace Of Childhood, Simplicity Parenting Is An Eloquent Guide To Bringing New Rhythms To Bear On The Lifelong Art Of Parenting

  • Hardcover
  • 256 pages
  • Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
  • Kim John Payne
  • English
  • 11 October 2018
  • 9780345507976

About the Author: Kim John Payne

A consultant and trainer to 250 U.S independent and public schools and school districts, Kim John Payne, M.Ed., has been a school and family counselor for than thirty years He has also consulted for clinics, training centers, and educational associations in South Africa, Hungary, Israel, Russia, Ireland, Switzerland, Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom, and Canada He has served as the